Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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