I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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