WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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