Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
