no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
