I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
