i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
