What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize