feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
