This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
