wat bout pragnant strippers??
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it glows. i had to have it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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