Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
