roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
