Dude my mom stole all your condoms
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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