there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize