My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize