take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just cut my nipple shaving
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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