did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
