Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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