Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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