I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
