still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
