My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
