arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
where does the pee come out of this thing
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
