Having a random hookup so left but love u
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
