We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
