I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
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