I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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