ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
