He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
