Walk of Shame. In a state park.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
