Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
