I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think I am morally bankrupt
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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