if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
