Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
