After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
