I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
