Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm really busy with my period
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