Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
