Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
