Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
