if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
