Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
