Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize