apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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