i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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