I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
