I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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