I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
