Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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