Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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