i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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