I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
