I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
