New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
