I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
